Wednesday, August 11, 2010


DISCLAIMER: The events depicted in this post are fictitious and any similarity to any person living or dead  is merely coincidental

"You know crap, can you just stop whining and enjoy the the evening. Remember Rule One? No office stuff after hours"
"Oh yeah, its my choice today, ok what would you like haa?"
"You won't change, will you moron?, mmm may be "Malibu and Pineapple"? "
"Perfect! Smoky Martini will do.."
"That's expensive, go for something simple"
"You don't know Jess, its a mixed day at work today, I am bit pissed off"
"Jeez, Listen, Remember Rule One?"

"I got fired!"
"What ... ?"

Jessie is always specific on her rule number one from the day one we started. No office talks after office hours. But then she had to remind me the rule every time we drop in for dinner. However one can't just leave everything happened during the most exciting hours of a day, yeah of course today is different!

"You know Mr Sully... "
"No formalities please, Call me Jake"
"Ok I would like you to remind that this is not your design discussion or a tea break. We are here to discuss your conduct during the project tenure. It has been brought to my attention that you are not following our newly introduced protocols. Do you have anything to add Mr Sully?"
"Process? well, I do follow ... at times"
"You see, your design artifacts coverage is 50% which is 15% below of our acceptable target. You have been changing the design without following the formal process of design changes and impact analysys, in the event your actions lead to overall project budget increase of 8% and not to mention about the risk you imposed"
 He gave me this nicely bound review finding document with all the evidences and records.

"Well I do apologize if it actually happened, But you see, this work is more to do with our individual judgment and instincts under the specific circumstances and domain experiences. We can't just follow everything on the piece of shit ... sorry .. paper, its not what Agile tells you, did you sign Agile Manifesto? We need to look at the holistic view of the domain, the business ... everything"
"I don't know what you talking about, well I will keep a note about the Agile and look at it on my next available time slot. All I want is to follow everything as per process and keep yourself safe always. Why do you care of holistic view, after all its not your part of job, I just read your job description"

Not my business haa? Then who else? hope its not yours?

Well neither mine! Do not change the topic, have you recorded your circumstances which lead to your process breakdowns. We can consider them if you have those evidences.

"You know what, I am known for my patience, so I suggest we end this conversation here, I don't have evidences, I never bring my cam-coder when I go to toilet. Thank you"

I just stood up and returned to my seat. OMG,  what did happen to me, couldn't I just listen and answer all the questions with patience. Am I not questionable? What makes me thinks I am larger than all these craps, will I ever learn to work with different people? Damn...Terrible Me!

"So wholemeal bread with peanut butter for lunch, You never change, Debra?"
"So you do Jake, you look so happy today? Is it ... Jessy?"
"Nah nah, Had some good moments in the morning at Vodafone"
"Oh yea, heard our DSL is well received there ... Is it?"
"Well thanks to you, It's very satisfying. I still remember the days I was just figuring out a simple property DSL with ANTLR. But implementing a fully fledged IOC container with our own DSL... We can be proud, can't we"
"Not to forget Scala too, these are the things keep us moving"

"Hopefully there won't be any glitches, no complacency please ... and don't ever be too emotional with what you do, prepare yourself for next work .. haa"
"Oh yeah of course! gotta check my mails, catcha"

Dear Mr Jake Sully,
You are kindly requested to attend our project review meeting at 4.00 pm. Project architect's presence is compulsory as per our process. Please bring supporting materials in case if you are to differ our review findings.
Yours Sincerely,
Jim Carry
Manager of Process and Protocols

"So you did this Anna?"
"That's right, I did this!"
"Awesome!, really impressed, seriously .."
"What? Did you think I am yet another customer who listens to what ever the craps the vendors tell, we do think.. you maggot!"
"Well oh yeah, I didn't mean it, its just an excitement when I saw you did this. I never expected a customer to configure our own DSL without us being consulted, its nice you done this on your own"
"Oh well, you guys are not special, you are yet another dancing and singing organic crap in this world, what made you think I wouldn't understand your DSL or whatever?"
"No no, its just my error of judgment, really appreciate you did this"
"Well you did, good for you!"

I still can't believe how well this project is progressed sofar. There were many doubters at the beginning. People thought we are trying too much. But we believed in what we did, had our own daemons to convince ourself and had the right team to make it success including the customer. I should call Jessy for dinner to celebrate this.
"No time like the present, Manhattan Inn, pick you on the way?"
"Nice mood ha?"
"Know why?"
"Mmmm got fired?"

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